It's a hard thing sometimes- to see where you are in life. There is so much weight and pressure in the atmosphere, things we can't see if we don't know how to look. Think of love for example- it's an intangible thing- and so are these invisible enemies, in this invisible place.
So if it's invisible, how can you know when you're living inside of love verses living inside of something else... some foreign land without a compass?
The first thing I've learned to do, is check in with myself. See how I'm feeling... and then go deeper by asking myself the question, "WHY am I feeling the way I'm feeling" and intentionally facing that truth. This method works whether you're feeling great, indifferent or having one of your worst days ever. But all those feelings (the variations from your best to worst day) will tell you where you are... in love or in hell. Whether you like it or not, your emotions ARE your compass- until you get them in check.
But... sometimes, we really don't want to take the time out to check in with ourselves. It can be hard. Life gets in the way... you get in your own way... we have other responsibilities, even people who depend on us. Some of this is all completely reasonable. But I ask you now- can anyone else fully depend on you, when your glass is half full?? ...think that through.
If you're anything like me, your easy answer is probably yes. Your whole life, you've lived by a certain "code" where you've believed that no matter how you're feeling, when someone needs you, you'll be there. You PUSH because that's the truest way to be a friend- the truest way to show someone you love them.... right?
Hmmm... I can only speak for myself.
One day, after spending years ignoring the weariness I'd been feeling (ignoring the haze that had been slowly consuming me) I heard God whisper something to me. "Serve from a place of love."
I could tell it was an instruction... so it left me confused, wondering... "I thought I was serving from a place of love. I do love these people... your people God. So how could I be doing the things I'm doing for them, from a place other than love?"
And so the adventure began...